Why bother with an introduction, you don't need to know who I am, nor vice versa, what matters is that you're here, so we've connected mutually on a level which can be explored further as you decide to read on, or close this window and get back to being as uninteresting as the rest of us.
Christ, I sound like a miserable bastard, but don't worry, everything is up from here, and as you've made it this far, consider yourself a friend of mine, not a good friend mind, not the type of friend that storms in uninvited and drinks you out of cheap, diet, supermarket "cola" - no - consider me the type of friend that feigns interest as you explain to me, in great detail, your sexual exploits and washout of a weekend.
Anyhow, as you're here, make yourself comfortable, I'll offer you a drink, you'll ask "what have you got?" and after explaining the small range of beverages on offer, you'll make an arbitrary decision based on whatever name you managed to understand through my mumbled, yet well spoken allure!
This is becoming awkward, so I'll break into an anecdote in order to break the tension:
I've noticed that, recently in a stroke of amazing short-sightedness, many of the Double Decker buses that run the main bus route between my town and Manchester have been replaced with single decks, why? Shit will go down, you've managed to skimp on seating in order to (I assume) save money (as I'm fairly certain these buses are cheaper to run) on the same day that the holding pen for the Jeremy Kyle show decided to take a day trip...
It should be noted, I detest public transport in these situations, normally I have no problem, I embark on my vehicular adventure unhindered and usually take to the top deck, shove my earbuds in and enjoy the company of The Strokes as I make my way towards town, sharing my adventure with one or two other people, the generic foreign bloke that reading the Metro and the disturbingly delirious old man, with his special brew equipped (Which coincidentally, gives a 2+ Charisma Bonus)
But today, I find myself wound up, sat with half a cheek on the seat as the rotund bird next to me enjoys her own and the majority of mine, whilst children crawl up and down a moving bus, turning to me in awe at the bright colours of my album art and covering both my possessions and my person in that grubbyness that a certain brand of children seem to possess....
...See I said it only got better, anyway, thankyou for reading this far, we might just see another entry later in the week; now pour yourself another drink of your choice, and make yourself scarce, but be sure to come back, old buddy, old pal!
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